Dear Virgin media,
I understand you run a business that involves putting television pictures and what-not down cables in the ground. I have a small proposition for you.
Around our way we have lots of unauthorised satellite dishes. I counted 4 on the block of flats opposite me this morning. And that’s just on the two faces of it I can see.
I wondered whether you might like to give us a small amount of money – enough to pay for a planning enforcement officer. We would work around each postcode making sure that these satellite dishes went through the proper process. We’d be happy to deliver one of your leaflets at the same time as our notice and would almost certainly generate more customers for you. And, at the same time, we’d also do some monitoring and have a poke about on some other non-communication issues that we care about. You’d accept that your money paid for a bit of this in return for a bunch of long-term customers.
We’d share with you what we were up to, and if in the end you weren’t getting enough business out of it to be worthwhile then fair enough. We’re under some pressure to think of new ways of funding public services and this seemed worth a shot. I’ve got similar letters to write to clear channel, Roche and some other guys.
Do let me know whether this is something you might consider.
Team Leader (Compliance, Monitoring and Enforcement)